Did I really just say that?

Sometimes things come out of my mouth addressed to the children and I can hardly believe my own ears. If I overheard someone else utter these sentences, I would probably be appalled and feel quite superior in my parenting style. I'm not even talking about swear words or threats. It is sheer scenario-specific stuff which, heard out of context, sounds quite awful. Here's a selection of my recent utterings.

 - Ah, don't eat out of the bin, love!

 - Did you just do a wee wee on The Flash? (the superhero in Lego form, not the cleaning product)

 - Sit down and eat your pizza (said to my 11 month old. In my defense it was delicious, healthy, homemede from scratch pizza).

 - Playmobil men do not belong in the loo!

 - Stay still so I can pick your nose (again, said to my 11 month old who has a cold and whose nose was blocked).

 - No, there is nothing else till you finish your Nutella (in response to my five year old asking for a banana half-way through the Nutella sandwich he begged for).

 - Toilet roll is not a scarf!
 - No, don't lick your shoes, pet!

In sharing this with you I am assuming that I am not the only parent who finds herself in these surreal situations. I really hope I am not wrong!